Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
