i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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