she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
