Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
