Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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