I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
