Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
