i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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