I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
