dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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