We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
