you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My feet surprised me
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