Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
