I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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