Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
