Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
