Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
