I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
