sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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