Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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