He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
