Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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