I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
then he tried to convert me to islam
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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