So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
