New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
