i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
