It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
