the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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