"it" just moved
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
