i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize