dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
