Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
