she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
