Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
