Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
