you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
