Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
