i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
