Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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