dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
