Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize