you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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