based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
