Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
