As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
