u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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