awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
