Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
