Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
