Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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