Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
