Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You don't make any sense
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