I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
