Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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